Dear Ex-boyfriends…

I’ve been blessed to have a TON of hangout time with some of my favorite ladies this month and a common theme has popped up. Warning for my male readers today…I’m totally on a girl power trip however, let this post touch your life as it will.

So what is that common theme? Loser Ex-boyfriends!!! (I’d like to insert a more New Yorker adjective but I’ll try and keep it a tad PG 😉 ) So what is the deal? They’ve been popping out of the woodwork lately which lead my friend to ask “is there something in the universe this month or something?”.

ExBF

Here’s my letter, along with musical inspiration, to all those ex’s out there on behalf of my homegirls!

Dear ex-boyfriends,

I get it….we’re pretty fabulous! I know you thought so initially and maybe even along the way but let’s get real, the break-up (or in some cases break UPS) were most likely 99.9% your fault because frankly we were too naïve to screw up when we were younger….either that or we were never stupid enough to let you know our secrets and you obviously were stupid enough to ALWAYS get caught being shady. Now that being said, I know it’s hard to believe but our lives have actually moved on w/out you…imagine that! We’ve moved past the ‘All By Myself’ phase and have returned from our blubbering ‘please don’t leave me’ phase to being our fabulous selves again. We are in new relationships, married and/or have children…even if we are single you actually are not even a blip in our radar…that is until you decide to be. Not only is it sad but now you’ve gone from simply an a**hole to now being a pathetic a**hole who our friends now have laughing sessions about!

Trust me we have our lists of go to break up songs. I recognize that as “men” it may be difficult to bring yourself to find ‘whoa is me’ songs to get you through the fact that you totally blew your chances with us. So in the fierce lyrics that Beyonce sings “Since I’m not your everything, how about I’ll be nothing? Nothing at all to you”

Keep remembering that this is how we’re most likely feeling these days:

And this is how you’ll most likely be feeling for a long time to come:

Sincerely,

Your remarkably moved on ex-girlfriends

I love me some girl empowerment songs! What are your go to strength songs to get you through breakups?

 

(image via athenna.com)

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2 responses to “Dear Ex-boyfriends…

  1. My “get through” songs are: “Rearviewmirror” (Pearl Jam), “Fighter” (Christina Aguilera), “Locomotive” and “Breakdown” (Guns N’ Roses), and the already mentioned “To the Left” (Beyonce). 🙂

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